The Panacea

The potatoes are liking their home in the re-purposed stock tank

Since cutting gluten out of my diet 3 months ago I've experienced some remarkable changes. I lost the 10 pounds I've been wanting to lose for years. My wrinkles have smoothed out. My gray hairs have been replaced by brown. My singing voice has become amazing and I am thinking about joining a band.

No, not really.

Okay, now for real, these are the changes I have noticed: I've lost 5 of the 10 pounds I've been wanting to lose for years. My back feels better. My gums which were a bit inflamed aren't anymore. My gut feels good. My skin seems clearer. My lifelong affinity for sweets has abated (but hasn't disappeared). So that's pretty good, even without the singing voice.

More on my back.... My mid-back has been giving me problems for years. There seems to be just one activity that aggravates it: doing the dishes. I think our sink is too low for my 5'9" stature. I actually enjoy washing dishes so its not psychosomatic. (I enjoy washing dishes so much that although we have a dishwasher I have never used it. I've actually never used a dishwasher in my life and truth be told, I am a bit intimidated by them. I always feel like there is some secret to loading them and that I should have a dishwasher training session before I can be trusted to do it correctly.) A few dishes didn't bother it but every time I finished a whole sink-load, I would have to ask my husband for a crack. This meant he would stand facing me and embrace me with both arms around my mid-back and squeeze. This invariably produced several loud cracks that immediately relieved my discomfort. I even trained my 6 year old son to crack it by walking on it. As I spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking and doing dishes, I would need cracking anywhere from 1 to 3 times a day, every day! I knew it wasn't a good situation but I really didn't know to rectify it.

Well, a couple months into the gluten-free experiment, I realized that I hadn't felt the need for a crack in a long time. Now another month has passed without a request for a crack! So it appears that something about eating gluten was causing inflammation in my joints, gums, skin, and belly. 

I went ahead and had a blood test done to test for celiac disease indicators recently, but from what I understand those mostly come back negative. I haven't received the results yet. It would only be interesting to me if it were positive, which I doubt. I just think I am one of the growing number of people who develop an issue with it and/or realize how much better their body feels and functions without it.

So, for now life continues......gluten-free and happy.
Enjoy!

*Update*
December 1, 2012: Now approximately 8 months gluten-free. I have lost 15 of the 10 pounds I had vaguely wanted to lose for years. I feel lean and strong and clear-headed. I still have not once asked to have my back cracked after doing the dishes! My eye-glass prescription has stabilized (coincidence?) and gum inflammation has been reversed.

Levels of Healthfulness

Do you consider yourself healthy? Do you eat a healthy diet? I've been thinking a lot about health lately as I navigate the process of trying to diagnose an "off" feeling in my abdominal area. I've always felt that because I don't drink soda or smoke or eat fast food that that was good enough. I eat my veggies. I love veggies! We buy mostly organic and grow and forage some of our own food. I cook almost all of our meals from whole ingredients. Our family's diet is relatively very good. But it is easy to have a relatively good diet when so many Americans eat so poorly. And as long as you eat a fairly healthy diet and feel fine, why would you worry or make a change? The same goes for exercise. As long as you are feeling fine and can still do the things you are used to doing, why bump it up a notch? Oftentimes it takes a health issue arising for us to push our eating or exercise habits to the next level. But make no mistake, diet and exercise are some of our best medicine.


We really are facing challenging times health-wise. Sometimes even our best intentions are thwarted by our exposure to toxins and pollution beyond our immediate control. Due to outdated corporation-centric laws, the burden of testing chemicals used in consumer products falls to the FDA and not the company profiting from using or producing the chemical. There are tens of thousands of chemicals in use today and very few have undergone testing to determine their effects on human health not to mention the health of the environment as a whole. In other words, we are guinea pigs in a big chemical experiment. And clearly we are suffering. Sick-care is one of the largest growing industries in the world.


It is so strange to have to tell my son that things that they sell at the store are poison or "bad" for you. "Why are they selling things that are bad for our bodies, mom?" "Because it increases their profit margin, my sweet, precious, lovely angel."


As far as my own journey goes, I have eliminated gluten and dairy from my diet but unfortunately there are still days or parts of days where my "gut" feels uncomfortable. I'm not sure what my next step will be. There is a talented acupuncturist in town. There are a variety of western-medicine type doctors. There is a homeopath. I am still in the process of discovering what my body is trying to tell me and I am proceeding with a newly revitalized commitment to being as healthy as I can be.


Alright, enough musing and ranting. How about a super healthy, bump-it-up-a-notch, raw kale salad recipe? 

Spicy Kale Salad
 You will need:
1 bunch of kale (preferably curly leaf)
1 T. sesame tahini
1 T. fresh lemon juice
1 T. tamari
1 T. water
2 T. nutritional yeast
1 clove garlic minced
1 pinch of cayenne 


Wash and dry kale. Remove leaves from stems. Tear kale into bite-sized pieces. Blend all of the other ingredients in a bowl using a fork or whisk until it forms a thick dressing. Pour over kale and massage the dressing into the kale until all pieces are well coated. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes before serving. This salad will not get soggy or wilt. Keep covered in the refrigerator and enjoy over the course of a few days. It just gets better. Raw kale is so good for you! This dressing makes it pleasurable to eat.

Enjoy and in health.

Life Proceeds Gluten Free

Yippee, some time to write!! The past week was busy with house guests and our son's 6th birthday celebration. It was also full of peaceful, aesthetic moments as captured in the photo above. Spring is in the air and life is good. I am beginning my second month of leaving gluten and dairy out of my diet. During the first month my self-diagnoses was confirmed a few times when I unintentionally or intentionally partook of gluten. I still find it a bit bizarre that one day I could eat it, and apparently digest it uneventfully, and the next day I couldn't. But I guess that is how life works. Things change. They are always changing. Usually the changes happen gradually so we have time to adapt but sometimes they broadside us and we are forced to make rapid mental and sometimes physical adjustments.

It really is a fortuitous time, relatively speaking, to go gluten-free. There is a newfound awareness of potential problems associated with ingesting gluten and a resulting infusion of gluten-free labels and gluten-free products in the marketplace. Of course, most whole food is already gluten-free. Some people are capitalizing on this. Just make sure not to be fooled into paying more for gluten-free rice or peanut butter!

At least so far, I feel that I am doing a pretty good job of taking the change in stride. Interestingly, the most difficult adjustment has not been giving up gluten and dairy, but rather changing some of my other ingrained habits associated with food. I am a zero-waste kind of gal and pride myself on shopping, cooking, serving, and cleaning up in a way that virtually eliminates any food waste. I don't feel this way about all food, only quality food. I pick up my son from kindergarten at noon and every day I see two large trash cans full of uneaten crappy food-like-substances that his school tries to pass off as an acceptable lunch for the children. I actually feel a sense of contentment that all that junk didn't make it into their digestive tracks. But I wouldn't hesitate to cut off the bite marks of a half-eaten organic apple and save or eat the rest. I know my son and husband's eating habits, so in our home I compensate for what I know my son will probably leave on his plate by putting less on mine and then cleaning his plate when he is done. Well, now that some of his food is off-limits for me, I find myself, oftentimes without success, offering Leo's picked-over or nibbled-on leftovers to my husband. The conversation might go something like this: 
"You could finish Leo's quiche." 
"Uhhh, yeah, no thanks."
"It is still good, it's just mashed up a bit."
"I'm really not hungry."
"If I put it in a container, do you think you might have it for lunch tomorrow?"
"Probably not."
And who could blame him really.
And so, unable to eat it myself; unable even to compost it (which would feel better) because of the bear that regularly visits our property, into the trash it must go. I apologize to the food-gods, bid farewell to the asparagus, sun-dried tomatoes and mushrooms, the gruyere, farm fresh eggs, nutmeg, and cream. And drop it with finality and helplessness into the garbage can. This letting go has been the surprise hardest part of my new gluten and dairy-free life.

Other than that I have been enjoying cooking, baking, and eating without gluten and dairy, and I did a lot of all those things last week. I look forward to sharing as I expand my gluten-free baking repertoire. I was able to find rice flour and potato starch and xanthan gum at our co-op. I ordered sorghum and tapioca flour through Amazon. Yes, you can buy anything from Amazon. I've already made some respectable lemon bars and birthday cupcakes and am excited to continue to experiment.

Enjoy.

Gluten and Dairy Free!!!!?

I've always been able to eat anything. Allergy is not a familiar word in the history of my family. A childhood friend of my brothers, named Michael, had allergies. It was the first time I had heard the word and I remember examining him with a certain intensity to see if I could detect a difference in him that would elucidate these "allergies". He did seem a bit pale (or maybe that was just his northern European descent?) and thin. Anyway, people with allergies have always been an enigma. When I've heard of people with multiple allergies like dander, grass, pollen, milk, eggs, shellfish, AND nuts it just hasn't made sense to me. They were born of the earth, how could they be allergic to it? Well I'm still not well versed in the science of it but I now know plenty of people with allergies and sensitivities and now possibly may have to count myself among them.


These days you hear a lot about gluten intolerance. It's all the rage. I'm joking of course. I understand fully that celiacs disease is a serious issue. But what IS going on? More and more people are realizing that when they avoid wheat and other gluten-y grains that they feel better. I was in a Whole Foods Market in Napa a couple of days ago and I saw a huge selection of gluten-free products. It is growth industry right now. 


So here's the story. I had a tummy ache for about 2 weeks and instead of going to the doctor, (I have an aversion to Western medicine), I decided to eliminate gluten from my diet to see if that helped. Well, it seemed to. I was on day 4 and keeping a food journal when I had a decadent dairy-based treat. After a couple of hours I had extreme tummy pain and other unmentionable unpleasant symptoms. So maybe dairy is the issue. Back to the computer for more googling.... If you do have celiacs and there is actual damage to the villa in your small intestines it can cause you to have problems digesting dairy products even if you wouldn't ordinarily. So the two can be linked. I also read that some level of lactose intolerance in adults is the norm worldwide. I'm on day 9 now with no gluten or dairy and my tummy is feeling fine. I have mixed feelings of course. I plan to stick to the program a month or two longer until I feel that I have a good solid baseline to then re-introduce gluten and dairy in small quantities and take careful note of their effects. 


I think when you have food sensitivities you end up being a more mindful eater in general. I want my seemingly iron gut back but if I need to eliminate a category of food in order to be well, so be it. We'll see.


Here is a kale dip recipe I found in the latest Whole Living magazine. I made it back a week and a half ago when I was gluten but not dairy-free. Actually I made it twice. It was good at first, better the next day, and then I craved it.


Kale Dip
1 T. olive oil
1 garlic clove roughly chopped
3 cups thinly sliced kale leaves
coarse salt
1 cup cottage cheese
pinch of red pepper flakes
1 T. fresh lemon juice


Heat oil in pan over medium heat. Add garlic, and kale and season with salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 5 or 6 minutes. Let cool. Place in food processor with cottage cheese, red pepper flakes and lemon juice. Puree until smooth. Serve with chips or veggies.

Lastly, I want to share a photo I took on the morning after a large bear came through our yard last week. We have a pet cat whose paw prints can be seen in the snow beside the bear's. Perhaps they are friends?

Enjoy...

Kitchen Inspiration and The Idea Board

Kitchen inspiration comes in waves. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with ideas and enthusiasm and other times I can't think what I should create; my attention is elsewhere. In the summer of course, there are more fresh ingredients lying about that need to be used. So then, as with most of the time, what I choose to create is dictated by what I have on hand. The wasting of good, quality ingredients feels like a mortal sin to me. I work hard, especially in the summer and fall to ensure that no fruit or vegetable finds itself withering or, heaven-forbid, molding in my kitchen but instead that each and every cherry, if not consumed fresh, will find its way, at its peak of ripeness, to its next incarnation as jam, a galette, a crisp, in mead, or ice cream. Or at least to a freezer bag for later use. And later is now. This is the time of year when I appreciate being able to go to the cupboard or the freezer for edibles carefully put away earlier.

Last year I purchased a chalkboard for the kitchen from IKEA. It's nice having an erasable and visible slate for jotting down inspiration when it strikes. At first it was used as a menu board which announced the evening meal but it has now become a kitchen-creation-idea-board.

Some things that I've made lately that showed up on the board are: 

Cherry Fairy Galettes made with last summer's pitted and frozen cherries from the neighbor's tree.

Biscuit-Crusted Savory Pie made with solar dried tomatoes and frozen pesto from last summer's bounty. This was right up my husband's alley. He loves savory comfort foods. Think chicken and dumplings, lamb and mashed potatoes, shepherd's pie...

White Bean Artichoke Rosemary dip made from dried cannellini beans, jarred artichoke hearts, and dried rosemary from my parent's epic bush. I will share this recipe because I found the dip to be flavorful, tangy, easy, and healthful.

Other ideas that have been knocking around in my head or finding their way to the IDEA board are making some more of my own liquors like a Grand Marnier, an Amaretto, and a honey Kahlua. Also, various salad dressings are begging to be made: A French catalina-syle, a creamy poppy seed, Pangaea's orange dressing, my mom's lemon paprika dressing, and a balsamic vinaigrette. I'm sure I'll be doing a salad dressing post soon! Although my inspiration waxes and wanes like the moon, it always seems to return to the kitchen and the creative possibilities to be embarked upon there.


Artichoke White Bean Rosemary Dip 

1 clove garlic 
2 1/2 cups of cooked white beans
1 cup artichoke hearts packed in oil
Juice of one small lemon
1/2 t. of crushed dried rosemary (or 1 t. chopped fresh rosemary)
1/4 t. kosher sea salt or other salt


Macerate garlic clove in food processor. Then add beans, artichoke hearts, lemon juice, rosemary, and salt and blend until smooth. Serve with pita chips, asparagus, and/or carrots for dipping.


Enjoy!

The Clean 15 and The Dirty Dozen

I'm sure by now most people are familiar with this concept. The concept that while ideally all the food we consume would be organically grown, that is not always the case for multiple reasons. These reasons are varied and include cost/financial considerations, apathy, ignorance, and accessibility to name a few. I would have to think that upfront cost would be the major determining factor. I mean imagine if there were a store that sold both organic and chemically fertilized, pesticide-laden versions of fruits and vegetables side by side for exactly the same price. I would hazard a guess that the organic would out-sell the conventional. Or what if the organic produce actually cost less. Certainly then people would buy it first. But with few exceptions, the cost at the register is usually less (sometimes a little and sometimes a lot) for conventionally grown produce. Of course, as we know, the true costs of buying and eating toxic food are externalized. The environmental damage is difficult to measure and we pay in doctors' bills later as our health suffers.


Each year the Environmental Working Group (EWG) compiles a list of the 12 conventionally grown fruits and vegetables with the most pesticide residue, and also a list of the 15 fruits and veggies with the lowest. I appreciate having this knowledge as I try to balance health and budget and convenience in my life and for my family. There are certain things that I always buy organic. There are certain things that, armed with this knowledge, I buy on the cheap. And some things I don't tend to buy at all because I will not subject my family to their toxicity but I am also unable to justify the high prices of the organic versions. 


Here are their current lists:


Dirty Dozen
Apples
Celery
Strawberries
Peaches
Spinach
Nectarines (imported)
Grapes (imported)
Bell peppers
Potatoes
Blueberries (domestic) 
Lettuce
Kale/collard greens


Clean 15
Onions
Sweet corn*
Pineapple
Avocado
Asparagus
Sweet peas
Mango
Eggplant
Cantaloupe (domestic)
Kiwi fruit
Cabbage
Watermelon
Sweet potatoes
Grapefruit
Mushrooms


I keep this list on my refrigerator as a reminder. As the EWG website states, you can lower your pesticide intake substantially by avoiding the 12 most contaminated fruits and vegetables and by eating the least contaminated produce. Celery for instance, tests positive for 57 different pesticides!!!!!! That is crazy. So you can typically buy a celery bunch for under a buck at the grocery store. At our co-op it goes for $2.29. Talk about bang for your buck! For an extra dollar or so I am avoiding exposing my family and guests to up to 57 pesticides! I am happy that onions and avocados and mushrooms are on the clean list. I take seriously that apples, celery, and strawberries are the three "dirtiest". I also never, ever buy non-organic greens. I've always done that on instinct. Of course, my dream is that someday organic is conventional and "conventional" is labeled as potentially hazardous to our health and planet.


*Oh, the asterisk next to the sweet corn... I just think there may be other reasons not to buy conventional corn like that it may be genetically modified (Syngenta's GM corn is already available and there is talk of Monsanto's being offered at Walmart by this summer). On another note, if you'd like to see mandatory labeling of genetically modified foods, make sure to sign a petition that is now circulating to get it on the 2012 California ballot for voters to decide. Consumers should clearly be informed so that they can make a choice. For some, it will change their shopping habits, for others not. It's like the Environmental Working Group's Clean 15/Dirty Dozen list. They put the information out there. You can use it as you see fit.  


Enjoy.

English Hill Morning, Occidental Breakfast, Bodega Bay Afternoon

I cannot help but celebrate the place I come from. As you know, I am a farm girl at heart and when I return to the farm of my childhood my heart soars. Without even realizing it, I literally run from place to place as I used to do. The feeling of freedom and expansiveness is palpable. In a recent trip requested by our 5-year old son, we enjoyed the farm and the beach, 20 minutes away. It is an absolute joy for me to behold my son as he romps carefree on the land of my own girlhood. His enthusiasm was irresistible as he built a tree fort with his grandpa's help and ran from place to place discovering treasures like paths, rocks, flowers, sticks, and secret hiding spots.


Sonoma County is a sweet Northern California county which boasts wine country and 76 miles of Pacific coastline, rolling hills, and agricultural valleys. I am partial to the more sparsely populated, hilly, and pastoral west county. It's a bit more laid back and retains more authentic funky charm than towns and cities along the busy Hwy. 101 corridor. It also remains more unchanged. Which is nice. Like the ocean. Still there after all these years for me to come home to again and again like the waves cresting and falling to rest momentarily before being swept out to sea once again....  


Celebrating West Sonoma County in photos:
An English Hill Morning:

My parents' rosemary plant which covers approximately 1/4 acre :)

An Occidental Breakfast: Howie's 

"Primo Potatoes"

Bodega Bay Afternoon:

We found a live abalone on the beach. We threw it back into the sea.

And gougeres in the evening for good measure:

Enjoy!

Stephan Way Chardonnay - Part 2

My dad is a big fan of evaporation as a phenomenon. Yeah, evaporation is cool......but do you know what is even cooler? Fermentation! Fermentation is a chemical change brought on by the action of yeasts and bacteria. The souring of milk, the rising of dough, and the conversion of sugar to alcohol are all examples of fermentation. 


Making wine is really quite simple in principle. Grapes are crushed to release the sugar-rich juices. Yeast is then added. In the fermentation process yeast enzymes break down the sugar producing both alcohol and carbon dioxide gas. The grape juice is allowed to ferment for a number of weeks, at which point it is moved to different containers and fermented at a slower rate, and eventually aged or bottled.


Making a great wine requires a lot of experience and finesse. I began my project humbly, with only the wish of creating a non-offensive, drinkable table wine that I could share with the neighbors who live within a block of where the grapes were grown. As I seem to do with everything these days, I turned to the internet to guide me in my first batch of wine made from fresh grapes. I found a recipe for dry white table wine that I would follow. I had a large bucket with 34 pounds of Chardonnay grapes. Lacking a grape press, I did it the old-fashioned way. I stomped them. (After thoroughly scrubbing my feet!)

It felt like stepping on a sea anemone at first

But then I got used to it and quite enjoyed it

This first batch yielded 2.4 gallons of juice. It was almost syrupy sweet. After tasting and sharing a bit of the juice, I set the remaining 2 gallons to fermenting. I did add sulfur dioxide in the form of 3 crushed campden tablets. Sulfites are a natural by-product of the yeast metabolism during fermentation. So even if you do not add any additional sulfur dioxide, your wine will still contain sulfites. Sulfur dioxide is antioxidant and antibacterial and plays an important role in maintaining wine's freshness.


A week or so later Marilyn, the neighbor with the grapes, called. Did I have any interest in making more wine? The vines were still laden with perfect, ripe grapes. It was almost mid-October by then and it could freeze anytime. Sure, why not? My 5-year-old son and I headed over with our huge bucket. Marilyn cut the bunches off the vine and handed them down to me. Soon the bucket was reaching capacity. Scott, Marilyn's son, weighed the grapes by standing on a bathroom scale with and without the bucket. 80 pounds!!

Here I am stomping and pressing simultaneously

They yielded almost 6 gallons of sweet grape juice. I set the juice to fermenting with some yeast and yeast nutrient after adding some more sugar, campden tablets, and toasted American oak cubes. Cross your fingers! This is a lot of Chardonnay!

Okay, fast forward through waiting part. The wines were racked (siphoned) off of their sediments to clean containers from time to time. First to be bottled was the smaller batch and a week later (Jan. 20) the larger.

The Big Mistake

The second batch was so big that I wanted to sweeten it at different levels to provide for a larger range of tastes. I was aiming for half to be on the dry side and the other half to be in the medium sweet range. I added 2/3 cup of sugar to the 5-gallons which raised the specific gravity (SG) .002. I then bottled half (or 2.5 gallons) of the wine. Then, desiring to raise the SG another .006, I multiplied the 2/3 cup of sugar by 3 and came up with 2 cups. So I added that. Yep, I neglected to account for the decrease in the volume of the wine I was sweetening! Only half as much. So, 1 cup was what was called for, not the two. The SG shot up and there was no way to take it back. 

After all of the picking and picking over, the crushing and hand-pressing, the recycle-bin diving and label scraping, the sanitizing and patience; I had pretty much spoiled half of the large batch at the very last step. To me it is overly sweet. I got on-line again looking for recipes using sweet white wine. I found a pear galette that called for a sweet white wine reduction sauce and several poached pear recipes...... So, I'll keep a bottle for next summer's neighborhood pears. But if any of my readers like sweet Gewuztraminer types of wine please let me know because I have 11 extra bottles! It will pair well with cheesecake, creme brulee, and fruit.

On the bright side, I have high hopes for the 20 bottles of Chardonnay that were not mistakenly over-sweetened. Everything seemed to go fine. The alcohol level is at an ideal 13% by volume for both batches, the clarity is good, there was no contamination, and the taste was pleasant at bottling. I plan to have a neighborhood wine tasting party in May for the Stephan Way Chardonnay. It should be fun regardless.

Cheers!

Stephan Way Chardonnay - Part 1

Last summer was an epic fruit year on Stephan Way. Well, all except for apples. We have an apple tree in our yard that in many years produces hundreds of large crisp apples but in 2011 had exactly 3 to offer us. But the cherries, grapes, pears and plums produced by our neighbors were outrageous. Especially the cherries and the grapes. In fact, the cherries and the grapes were so bounteous that my discussion of them requires two separate posts. This first, is the grape post. And this, in two parts.


Stephan Way is the cul-de-sac of 11 homes that we live on in Quincy. If you have read my blog, you know that I complain about the shade on our side of the street in the wintertime. I do not, however, complain about the neighbors. On the contrary, I have never experienced anything like the rapport that our family has with our neighbors. Growing up on acreage in a country setting, this is the first real neighborhood I have lived in for any length of time.


At first I was a bit uncomfortable with the close proximity of the other houses. I felt self-conscious as I walked from room to room or spent time in the front yard, like everything I did was on display for all to see. Two things happened over time. I realized, of course, that no one was really bored or interested enough to watch my every single move. But the other, more subtle change that has occurred, is a shift in my perception of the monitoring that does occur. The feeling of being watched has slowly transformed to one of being watched over. Our neighbors care about us and we about them. We keep an eye on one another and the neighborhood as a whole. We offer a hand when we see that one is needed. 


And we share food. As my neighbors have become aware of my aversion to waste, my love of fresh produce, and my proclivity for food-related projects, I have become the happy recipient of surplus fruit in the summer and fall. 


One beloved neighbor, named Marilyn, has lived on our street for the past 56 years! She and her husband, now deceased, planted four Chardonnay grapevines around their patio over 20 years ago. Now the vines are huge and sprawling, covering and cascading over a large wooden arbor that shelters the patio and provides summer shade. The trunks are gnarled and mighty. In 2011, for whatever combination of reasons, the vines produced more grapes than they ever had before. Marilyn hand-delivered bags and boxes of grapes to many neighbors but nothing made a dent. Finally, I decided to take on the task of trying to make wine from the grapes. My previous wine-making experience was limited to 5 small batches of honey wine, or mead, and a 5-gallon batch of Zinfandel made from a Central Coast juice concentrate. But I had the necessary equipment and the prospect of being successful intrigued me. In order not to let all of these lovely Vitis vinifera grapes rot on the vine, it was time to make some wine!


Look for Part 2 soon! It will have photos and more of the nuts and bolts of the process.


Enjoy.

Seasonal Sensitivity

Without doing any research into the matter, I pronounced years ago that I have Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. I have noticed it in myself just since moving to our north-facing, winter-shadowed house in Quincy. It also seems to worsen each year that I live here or the older I get, I don't know which. Whether I would be diagnosed with the disorder by a doctor is unknown and I don't have any intention of finding out. In general, I feel that I have a fairly stable disposition that tends toward the optimistic and the happy. I consider myself a happy person. But this is what I notice. In the summer I have a propensity for irrationally exuberance. I seem to have almost endless energy for exercise, new projects, socializing, housekeeping, activities, etc.  I feel excited about each long summer day. In the winter, I am not motivated to go outdoors in the cold weather, the shade and cold that envelope our property are depressing to me, and I sometimes feel paralyzed, as if I am just waiting. Waiting and waiting until the weather warms back up again and real, quality life can resume. 


So, what do you think? Do I have it? I found this quote on Wikipedia:
In the popular culture, sometimes the term "seasonal affective disorder" is applied inaccurately to the normal shift to lower energy levels in winter, leading people to believe they have a physical problem that should be addressed with various therapies or drugs.
I have never considered the possibility of using drugs to feel better. In general, I like to feel all of my feelings, even the uncomfortable ones. I know that some drugs are invaluable to people, but in general, I am anti-prescription drug. Even legal drugs, like alcohol, I believe should not be used to self-medicate. I like the quote, "Never drink to feel better, only to feel even better". 


The more I read about SAD the less I think I would be diagnosed with the disorder. Apparently it is not even considered a stand alone affliction. Instead it is called a "course specifier" and may be applied as an added description to the pattern of major depressive episodes in patients with major depressive disorder or patients with bipolar disorder. Many of the symptoms that are listed, I either do not experience (morning sickness, difficulty concentrating, feeling of hopelessness, tendency to oversleep and eat), or experience only mildly (withdrawal from social activities, carb cravings, pessimism). There is a lesser form of SAD called subsyndromal SAD which may describe my experience more accurately.


I've decided to coin a new phrase for my experience. Rather than refer to myself as someone with subsyndromal seasonal affective disorder which sounds so clinical and unfortunate, I have decided that I, along with many others, are seasonally sensitive. We are mentally healthy folks who are especially sensitive to the seasonal extremes. Apparently there is an established "subsyndromal seasonal affective disorder" rate of about 25% in Alaska! So one in four has a named mental illness! That is the thing about psychiatry, once something is given a name and classified as a malady, people who have those symptoms feel like they fall outside of the norm, that there is something WRONG with them. Well guess what? While certainly there are deviants at the far ends of the spectrum, the vast majority of us fall into the "normal category". I think it is completely normal to be a little bit crazy at times.   


So I will try to respect, if not embrace, my seasonal sensitivity. There are things that I do and can do to ameliorate my winter symptoms. One thing that I have just discovered is the Farm Girl Blog. Writing and sharing make me feel good. I also enjoy planning and taking trips to warmer, sunnier climes. I beg friends to drag me outside in the winter weather to ski, walk, or snowshoe. This year I have begun taking a vitamin D supplement when I remember. Another option, of course, is to move south or, at least, out of the mountains to where the winter weather is milder. At the very least, a sunnier house location is in order.


I have an abusive boyfriend analogy that I use to describe our current home. Never having had an abusive boyfriend, I am only conceptualizing. In the summer our home is seductive. When the days are hot we have a bit of afternoon shade that makes being out of doors pleasant. Our air conditioning consists of leaving the windows open at night and then shutting them in the late morning as the temps start to rise. Our yard backs to the forest so the backyard and patio are private. We string lights and eat our BBQ dinners out there. It sits close to the downtown (but with a stately elevation on it) so we walk to do our errands. I am in love with our home in the summer. It is gentle and kind and beautiful. In the winter it can be bitter and mean. Just across the road there is sun but we are deprived. Old snow remains stubbornly in our yard long after others are barefoot in theirs. It beats me up and spits me out and I am just ready to leave it when.....the first of the tulips begin to color, then come the irises. The lawn turns an invigorating green, the back patio and garden beckon, and the love affair begins anew.


So with my seasonal sensitivity comes a passion for spring and summer and fall that perhaps are a worthwhile trade-off for the winter blues. So as to not neglect food in my examination of seasonal lows and highs, I will share that I took a peach and cherry crisp, that was cooked in our sun oven last July, out of the freezer today. With every bite there is a visceral connection with the sweetness and abundance of summer.

Enjoy.

Less is More and the Concept of Enough

Lately I've been pondering the concept of enough. For many years now this country has held the philosophy that more is better. More money, bigger cars, bigger houses, larger portions, big box stores, more possessions, larger screens, more options, etc., etc. Corporations want to make more and more profits. When is it enough? Is there ever an enough?


A friend once told me a story about an experience he had on an island off of Papua New Guinea many years ago. He was with some native young men out in the forest. I can't remember if they were hiking or hunting or what. They stopped to make a fire. As the fire got going my friend started to add more wood. "No, don't do that," the boys said, "that is Enough". They lived on a small island, fuel wood was scarce, and from a young age they had internalized the concepts of conservation and sufficiency.


The Pre-Columbian native people of our country seemed to be innately conservation-minded as well. It would be crazy for anyone with a subsistence-based life tied to the land to be wasteful. But the conception of limitless resources and the ways of wastefulness and poor stewardship seem like such an inherent part of the collective American psyche. 


I think about the native folks living here just 500 years ago in this country. Their concept of enough was so tied to food, water, and fuel wood; the resources needed to get through the year. I can relate to this feeling when it comes to firewood. We heat almost exclusively with wood and much time and energy is expended to procure it. What a wonderful feeling when it is all split and stacked tightly in the shed. Ahhh, we have Enough to make it through the winter!

Our modern day concept of enough is complicated by money and the uncertainty of the "economy" and by unknown college expenses, health care, and "retirement". It is hard sometimes to really know what is enough when it comes to these things. But there are many day to day things where this concept of enough can be applied. An example that comes to mind around Christmas time involves excessive giving of presents, especially to children. Does a child really need 27 gifts? Could 1 or 2 or 3 be Enough? Could the few even be appreciated more than the many? Other examples for the exploration of Enough might include food, alcohol, technology, clothes, cars, power consumption; consumption in general.

A long ago friend's parents had the word PLENTY carved on a shelf in their kitchen. I try to embrace the concept of Plenty in my life especially as it relates to food and love and time. It is tied to the concept of Enough. Plenty is Enough's generous cousin.

We on this planet Earth have to realize that we ALL live on an island; an island in space, and that our resources are finite and precious. We in the U.S. need to stop using more than our share. Individuals and corporations need to re-examine the paradigm of continuous expansion. It's like that top 1% trying to hang on to every cent of their tremendous wealth as if their lives depended upon it. As if it were their food stores or firewood for the winter instead of the obscene surplus it is hard for most of us to imagine. (Oh, oops, I'm gravitating toward the political. But even food, my neutral topic, can be political.)


I believe there can still be Plenty for everyone if we can re-discover and re-define the concept of Enough.


My son's kindergarten class sang this song for their holiday concert today:


It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hope and a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all...


Okay, well that was a big topic for the kind of time I have to post. I have written Enough. On another note our family is embarking on a 15-day road trip in a couple of days and will return early in the new year. I'm not sure whether I will have a chance to post along the way so there may be a Farm Girl Blog lull but I am excited about continuing my new hobby in 2012! I wish everyone a holiday season of Enough and Plenty!


Enjoy!

The Enormous Bread Bowl and the Journey to My Happy Kitchen

When I was around 19 or 20 years old I used to bake these decadent poppy seed white-chocolate chip cookies and sell them at cafes in Sebastopol. My aunt, a baker, upon learning of my interest in baking gifted me with a bread bowl. It is an extraordinary bowl. It was made by Robinson Ransbottom Pottery out of Roseville, Ohio. I liked it at the time but I also felt a bit burdened by it. The thing is huge and weighs all of 15 pounds. At the time, I could fit all of my belongings into one vehicle. For years, I moved an average of once every 6 months and oftentimes shared a kitchen with numerous college roommates. After college I began my career by working seasonally for the Forest Service and so my nomadic lifestyle continued. For many years the bowl and I were separated. It sat in a closet at my parents' house, unused but not forgotten. 


Even my first house was too small for the bowl. In 1998 I bought a 700 square foot cabin at Lake Tahoe where I worked at the time. Oh, the joy of my own kitchen at last! It was small and dated but it was mine. I have fond memories of sushi get togethers, BBQs, fresh pasta, pesto shrimp, apple pies, baba ganoush, hummus, quiches, soups, salads, and scones. Cabinet and counter space were both limited. I remember one particular incident where I was blending some batter for apple clafouti. The blender lid was not secured properly and batter sprayed out all over me. I stepped back, right onto the edge of a pie plate full of brandy-sauteed apples and batter which, of course, flipped up, covering my shoe and the floor with a sticky mess. It was on the floor because I had run out of counter space. Actually, if I recall correctly, this occurred about 5 minutes after I had chipped my grandparents' old crystal liquor decanter as I pulled the bottle of brandy from the back of a crammed cabinet. Oh, how I longed for a bigger kitchen!


It wasn't until 8 years ago, when we moved into our current house, that the bowl had a kitchen to properly accommodate it. When not in use for baking, the bowl literally serves as our bread bowl. It sits prominently but unpretentiously in a counter corner where it holds our loaves of bread, baguettes, and chips. It is also the perfect bowl to mix large batches of dough and leave it to rise. I am not a weekly bread baker but instead am sporadic. But whenever I am ready the bowl is there. Although it has now seen a lot of use as a container and for pizza dough and bread projects it looks as new as the day I received it 20 plus years ago. It is made to last and down-homey and wonderful. It took awhile for me to settle down and find my happy and spacious kitchen and now the bread bowl is an integral part of it. 


Yesterday I used it to mix pumpkin bread batter.

Mom's Pumpkin Bread
Notes: My mom always made this with homemade fresh pumpkin puree and I do the same but I'm sure canned would be fine too. This recipe makes one large loaf (9"x5") but is easily doubled to make 3 medium loaves. Freezes well.


In one bowl mix:
1 3/4 cup flour
1 t. baking soda
1/2 t. baking powder
1 t. salt
3/4 t. each cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger 
1/2 t. clove
In another bowl mix:
2 eggs 
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup water
1 1/4 cup pumpkin puree
 - Add dry to wet ingredients. Stir well. Add 3/4 cup of raisins and 1/2 cup of chopped walnuts or pecans. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 1/4 hour or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan.


Enjoy!